Regret-free Abortion

Today is Roe V Wade's anniversary. The other day our shithole president addressed March for Life (butlolfuckyouifyouarealreadyalivingchildorwomanonthisplanetespeciallyawomanorchildofcolor) protest, claiming he gives a shit about the lives of children and women. Women called bullshit, of course.

Women aren't going to stand for his dumbass bullshit, trying to drag us into back alleys for our abortions. And in case you didn't know Dump was a flaccid flip flopper, here's proof he is lying to his redneck anti-woman base.  

So if you believe Dump is anti-choice, you're wrong. I bet there are dozens of women who have expelled Dump's nasty cell clumps from their uteri. I mean, christ on a cracker, we can't have more Don Jr and Erics and Ivankas running around. That's fucking disgusting. 

I have had two abortions and I have not had a single moment of regret. The first guy who impregnated me was abusive, and he was excited about the pregnancy. He wanted the baby, way more than he wanted me. He wanted to marry me. He also barred me from leaving a room when we got into a fight, and pinned me to the wall. He also cheated on me during our brief summer fling. I had no doubt that I would be having an abortion, and I did. I dodged a big bullet with him.

The second time was with a boyfriend that I later married. He supported the decision, and I don't know if he really wanted me to have the baby or not, but it doesn't matter, because I didn't.   No regrets, not a single moment wondering what if I hadn't. Two regret-less abortions. 

The situations were quite different but my decision was not and I am happy I made those decisions. The most harmful thing about the process for me was when I naively went to a Crisis Pregnancy Center expecting them to provide what they advertised, referrals for abortion. Instead a nasty old woman in polyester pants tried to convince me to keep the baby, even sent me a postcard at home, a clear violation of privacy, and called my house as "a friend." She gave me booties for my precious baby, which I threw in a dumpster.

Letters from dipshits

Elizabeth never had any kids because
her body shut the shit down
on those clowns. Can I get a witness?

You're all familiar with what Rep. Todd Akin said regarding pregnancy and rape, right?  That if we women don't want it, we can squeeze our eyes real tight and prevent a pregnancy? 

A Montana woman from Lolo, a tiny town near Missoula, wrote in to The Missoulian, defending Akin.  She wants to have the conversation.  And she does, all by herself.  I'm not sure she gets where she wanted to go with the letter, but she insists that science backs Akin up.  It's the science that tells us:

1.  The woman may be on the pill.
2.  It may be during the non-fertile days of her cycle.
3.  She or he [the illegitimate rapist] may be sterile, naturally or through disease or surgery.
4.  She may be too young or too old to conceive.
5.  There can be disruption of the ovulation cycles due to the extreme emotional trauma.   (source from 1967)
6.  One study shows there is 58 percent "sexual dysfunction" (no penetration, or retarded or premature ejaculation).
7.  Another study shows that there is often no sperm deposited in the vagina.

So basically, a woman gets or does not get pregnant because of a multitude of factors.  Well, we knew that.  Like, everybody pretty much agrees on that.  Of course, the letter writer's source is the antichoice misinformation-spreading Dr. Jack Willke.  In a book he and his wife wrote, he states:

In a healthy, peaceful marriage, the miscarriage rate ranges up to about 15%. In this case, we have incredible emotional trauma. Her body is upset. Even if she conceives, the miscarriage rate is higher than in a more normal pregnancy. If she loses 20% of 600, there are 450 left. Finally, we must factor in one of the most important reasons why a rape victim rarely gets pregnant, and that is psychic trauma. Every woman is aware that stress and emotional factors can alter her menstrual cycle. To get pregnant and stay pregnant, a woman’s body must produce a very sophisticated mix of hormones. Hormone production is controlled by a part of the brain which is easily influenced by emotions. There’s no greater emotional trauma that can be experienced by a woman than an assault rape. This can radically upset her possibility of ovulation, fertilization, implantation and even nurturing of a pregnancy. So what further percentage reduction in pregnancy will this cause? No one really knows, but this factor certainly cuts the last figure by at least 50%, and probably more, leaving a final figure of 225 women pregnant each year, a number that closely matches the 200 found in clinical studies. (emphasis mine)

So never minding that Willke's data is skewed and not even close to up-to-date, he admits he's making shit up.  The letter's not changing any minds; it doesn't make enough sense.  It was sort of amusing, though, and I was reminded once again that the War on Women isn't just being waged by old white men.

 

Operation Oopsie

Operation Rescue, an anti-choice group, is about to have some major problems.  Some shady person has stolen a bunch of medical records.  And not just any old medical records, but the records of women who visited a clinic in Kansas that yes, DUM DUM DUM….performs abortions.  Troy Newman, the president of Operation Rescue, received the records from last month, from an unidentified person, who Newman idiotically repeats that the man insisted the records were obtained legally.

Except that they weren’t.  They couldn’t have been.  Medical records are not given out to anyone. If Troy Newman’s buddy “obtained” those records, they are ill-gotten gains, to say the least.  It is against federal HIPAA regulations to have those files in his hand without a properly executed Release of Information form.  Which form he obviously does not have, which form the unnamed Newman pal obviously did not have.  Actually, he would have needed dozens of forms, one for each damn patient. 

So.  Obviously this is some illegal AND immoral shit going on.  Newman says some stupid crap about the files showing illegal shit like covering up child abuse, or that the files were improperly disposed of.  Riiiiiight.  I’ll go ahead and wait on the LEGAL proof of that, if it’s all the same to Newman's dumb ass.  An attorney for the clinic called the FBI after someone broke into their dumpster last month. So someone’s obviously looking for something, but they wouldn’t have found April’s medical records in the trash.  Duh.  Medical records are kept for about a decade, and then they are disposed of—by shredding them.  So April’s records wouldn’t have been in the trash.  And if April’s records from over ten years ago were in the trash, they would have been shredded.  Further, it’s unlikely the clinic, with all the anti-woman crazies like Operation Rescue out there, would even put the records in the clinic’s dumpster.  Right alongside the aborted fetuses, amirite?   

I’m super interested in how this turns out, even if it turns out Newman’s insider only got him sign-in sheets or something.  Hopefully a whole bunch of people will be in some deep shit over this.  Which is too bad, because it takes away from their time helping women.  HA!

On choosing not to be an asshole

IWD

I used to be quite conservative politically in all the worst ways.  I was a misogynist.  I believed being gay was gross and that abused women should just leave already.  I told racist jokes and used racial slurs.  I’m terribly ashamed of all of that, and I’ve since become much less of an asshole.  But one thing I’ve never  been unsure about is reproductive rights.  I’ve been pro-choice at least since 7^th grade, which is when I remember having my first political argument.  My cousin Cindy said abortion was evil and wrong, and I said I didn’t think it was.  My reasoning was something about a mother resenting a child she didn’t want.  My cousin didn’t buy this and made fun.  “Oh, yeah, right, like the mom’s going to go Oh, I resent you, and slap them or whatever.”  I stood my ground though, because I knew what I was talking about.  I’ve been the resented child.

                I don’t know how my mom felt about children in general in her 20s, but I do know how she felt about girl children, and she didn’t want any.  She had a boy first.  Whew.  Then came me, and my grandmother’s warning must have loomed loud in her head, words I heard over and over through the years too:  “I can’t wait until you have a daughter just like you.”    My grandmother predicted I would be girl, and probably mom resented that implication, that she was about to get hers.  Who wouldn’t resent a barbed comment like that?  So out I came, female, and already I was a disappointment.  I know my mother loved and loves me, and that absolutely does not change the fact that she resented my femaleness. 

                So, predictably or not, my mom and I never really got along that well.  And I never forgot that she never wanted a girl.  I couldn’t, because she brought it up more than a few times during my childhood and adolescence.  By the time I began having sex, I had known for years that I didn’t want any kids.  Why take the chance that I’d have a kid like me, I figured. 

                Yes, I actually told myself and believed that I was a bad person, a bad child.  Somehow this translated to me having a fervent desire to not procreate, and I think this shaped my pro-choice views way before I ever started in with sex.  Back then, the right to abortion was about wanting pregnancy or not wanting it.  I didn’t want it, powerful bad.  And today reproductive rights is still about wanting pregnancy.  Every one of my children were wanted, even though not planned.  But before that, two abortions were what I wanted.  I didn’t know it back then, but what I wanted was to want pregnancy.  And when that happened, it surprised the crap out of me.  What my cousin could not and did not know back in seventh grade was that I knew about resentment, and I knew those ill feelings towards a child didn’t need to take the form of physical abuse.

                But just wanting my children doesn’t make me a great mother, and I’m fully aware of that.  What I want most for my children is confidence.  I want my daughters and my son to not only know they are wanted and loved, to never question that for a moment, but to instill that confidence in other young people, to be the kind of people who can buoy others in need because they have that strong sense of self.  I know some of this is up to chance and circumstance, but making sure girls and boys don’t grow up to be the kind of assholes who would restrict someone’s right to bodily autonomy seems as easy as not being that kind of an asshole yourself. 

               

This is not goo on the belly, people

STILL want that abortion, dearie?

Just what in the crap is going on in this country, you guys?  A room full of men deciding the fate of birth control coverage?  But men can’t even…and they don’t…so why should they…what?! 

 Not only that, but Virginia, Texas, and Iowa with the forcible transvaginal ultrasound for women wanting an abortion?  Transvaginal – that’s up in the vagina, if you didn’t know.  That’s a medical instrument forcibly placed into your body (which you have to hold?!).  Um, so the FBI recently changed the definition of rape to include, well, EXACTLY THIS.  Penetration against one’s will.  And that’s what the mandatory ultrasound laws are about.  They’re not about smearing goo on a woman’s tummy and then forcing her to check out the screen with the wavy blue lines that is supposed to magically make her change her mind but actually pretty much never does.  The laws are about legalized rape. 

 And for what, you GOP assholes?  It’s dizzying how fast it comes down to treating women like children or chattel when you start unraveling the reasons a state would legalize rape.  Let’s see if we can follow it, if we slow it down a little:

1.       We think abortion is bad, which means

2.       Abortion is bad, which means

3.       Abortions shouldn’t happen which means

4.       If abortions still happen women don’t know better which means

5.       We have to protect the women from themselves which means

6.       We have to remind them of their natural purpose which means

7.       If we force them to look at wavy blue lines they will come around and they will thank us in the end.

I really can’t believe this is on the table at all, but let’s let the fact that it is fire us up.  Komen learned a lesson about politicking women’s lives, and I think the GOP needs a lesson about staying the eff out of women’s personal decisions.